Fun
Some Actually Believed This
It’s a little known fact that the spotted zebra eats its young in the wild. Whereas the better known striped zebra do not eat their young. also the plural for zebra is zebri, which is the swahili word meaning “can we eat it?”
[The ability to make up patent nonsense on the fly is a natural 0utflow of storytelling. Ethically, this talent can't be used for sales and marketing. Intelligently, it can't be used for training and education. Finally, its best outlets are art and fun.]
But it -comes- in a bag.
I just bought a 3oz bag of potato chips (and nothing else). The cashiers asked, “Do you want a little bag?” I’m looking at the bag. I always say, “No thanks. It comes in a bag.” Some laugh, and some hrmph. I’m ok with either response.
But honestly, who is so dainty that they need to cover up every little thing they’re buying with a paper shopping bag? It’s not porn.
I’ve seen big strong men who can’t carry a soda. A bottle of detergent with a built-in handle. They have to have a little bag. We’re not running the Iditarod – it’s going on a plush seat supported by shock absorbers, surrounded by steel frame and bumpers, and sheltered by windows and a roof. If I had a car accident, my head would probably crack before that bag of potato chips would break.
Well, I don’t understand, so I’ll keep doing what I do until someone shows me why I need to put a bag into a bag just to get my potato chips to the car.
The Batman Interview
Radio Transcript
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Host: Daniel DiGriz |
Guest: Batman |
DiGriz: We’re back with tonight’s guest, the unmistakeable and always enigmatic Batman.
<applause>
DiGriz: So… what’s the deal with this whole bat thing. Why not Aardvark Man or Gopher Man or Koala Man? Why bats, specifically?
Batman: I… you’re making fun of me.
DiGriz: No, no, I’m not. I seriously don’t… well, you know I’m just curious what makes you pick one animal over another.
Batman: Well, a Koala doesn’t exactly strike fear in the hearts of evil men. And what did you say, an aardvark? I don’t think they fly or anything, do they?
DiGriz: Yes, but technically, and no offense intended, really, but you don’t fly either, do you? I mean, what you do is not really flying, right?
Jason Voorhees Interview
Radio Transcript
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Host: Daniel DiGriz |
Guest: Jason Voorhees |
DiGriz: OK, our next guest is Jason Voorhees. You may know him simply as Jason, notably from his work at Camp Lake Crystal, his tour of Manhattan, and his well publicized recent fight with Freddy Kreuger.
<applause>
DiGriz: So, Jason, welcome back.
<audience laughter>
Jason: It’s good to be back.
DiGriz: What is it, like your ten millionth time coming back? I mean, some twenty seven years, you’ve been… uh, doing what you do. First time on our show, though. But I mean, you drowned the first time back in 1957, if that’s accurate.
Jason: You’re making me feel like a senior citizen.


